Advice

We Were On A Break

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If you are familiar with the 90s show F.R.I.E.N.D.S., then you will recognize this long-running joke based on the first time Rachel and Ross broke up. Rachel was upset at Ross’s jealousy over her male coworker and told him that maybe they needed a break. Ross, upset and hurt over this, goes out to the bar and sleeps with another woman that same night. The argument then turns into whether he cheated or not. This question is often asked again and again,

What is considered cheating when someone asks for a break?

In this instance TECHNICALLY, he didn’t cheat because Rachel did say they were on a break. The problem lies in the amount of time he waited to be with another woman. He went out the same night she said they should be on a break which makes it seem like all he needed was the green light to go sleep with someone else. Time is the answer to this question. Since he did it the same night, although he was technically in his rights, he was still wrong. Sometimes in relationships, you say things in the heat of the moment or because you just can’t seem to see eye to eye.

If you truly love and care for someone, I would say waiting at least two weeks to a month after saying you are on a break is fair.

That gives you both time to think over words said and actions done so you can truly decide what is the right course of action. The problem in today’s time is that no one outright says what is on their mind or defines where the relationship has gone. Instead, people ghost, ignore or block one another. This leaves the other person to come to their best conclusion of what happened. Understand that if you choose to block or ignore someone, you cannot be upset at whatever conclusion they end up with as to where the relationship went. You chose not to be explicit and clear.

Moreover, sometimes people like to play games hoping the other person will catch the hint of what they want or how they feel.

Posting certain things with the goal of the other person realizing their post is about them. Or trying to make someone jealous so they come back and ‘act right.’ These tactics are immature and foolish and can end up with someone misunderstanding what was meant by your subtweet or post. Communicate with your partner about how you feel and where you are in the relationship. You leave less to chance and ultimately you both end up at the right conclusion.

 

©JustTalkingShep 2019

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