Relationships, Thoughts

I’m not a Quinn, I’m a Catwoman

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In my romantic relationships for most of my life, I have been a Harley Quinn. A capable woman who allows herself to be a doormat in the name of love. A woman who seemingly is doing just fine until a Joker comes into her life and causes her to become obsessed with his love and care. She stops thinking logically and is driven to please and cater to his every whim. Diminishing her talents and wit (despite the fact she is more intelligent and capable than him). No matter how the Joker treats her, berates her, casts her aside, she still comes back. I was that woman.

A Quinn who stuck by her man no matter how selfish, self-absorbed, or little he gave back.

I did it in the name of love. I did it because I wanted to be that one person who gave all that they seemed to be lacking. We as women tend to do this so many times. We want to be everything for our man so he can be everything to us. We put him on a pedestal that even he knows he doesn’t deserve to be on. We sacrifice ourselves, our respect, our self-esteem, our self-confidence, our self-worth, just to appease a man. I was doing this to myself to the point where I felt broken when I was cast away and ignored by my Joker.

This abandonment eventually fed into depression and led me to situations and decisions that were not in my character.

I didn’t like who I was, I didn’t understand who I was. And similar to the origin of Selina Kyle, I had to die in order to thrive. I had to kill that girl I was to resurrect into the woman I am today. I realized I am no Harley Quinn, I am a Catwoman through and through. She represents a woman who fully understands and commands her power. Who doesn’t let a man dictate who she is or detract from her confidence. She isn’t tagging around or searching for her man.

Instead, men seek her out. Most notably the most elusive and desirable of men, Batman.

The last word you would assign to her is a doormat. Rather Catwoman is the bombshell, femme fatale we all as women aspire to be but shy away from due to self-doubt. She isn’t looking for a man to verify her worth, she moves assured of it herself. She is dangerous because of her powers both physically and mentally. However, she is all the more alluring because of it.

 

©JustTalkingShep 2019

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