Some months ago my mom was cleaning out rooms in our house and she came across a box where I kept all the things from my most heartbreaking relationship. I just happened to come in when she discovered it.
My mother was ranting from the other room, “We have to clean out a lot of things in this house. We have stuff everywhere.” I walk into the same room she is in as she says “I think some of this stuff is yours, we need to be neater.” “I know Ma,” I reply. She opens a big box from the closet and pauses before she quietly says, “This is yours isn’t it?” I look inside and my heart drops. Everything in there reminds me of him. Pictures, handmade gifts we both made, they are all there. I don’t respond for a moment as waves of hurt come over me. I swallow it and reply with a feigned bright voice, “Don’t worry Ma, I’ll take care of it and clean it up.” “It’s okay,” she responds, “We can take care of it later.”
I haven’t seen that box since.
It’s funny how certain objects can become so imbued with memories and feelings. One glance can bring all the waves of emotions that you had at that time. Whether those feelings were good or bad, it involuntarily comes over you like a wave. No one has figured out what the exact time or method is to get over a broken heart. It would be great if you could just get up one day, decided and assured and say that you are through with those feelings. Sadly, things like a memory box can force you to relive the cycle of hurt all over again.
I am pretty sure my mom could see the hurt and pain that I was trying to cover up. Mothers are perceptive that way. I’m not sure what she did with that box. Maybe one day she will bring it up again or maybe it will be one of those things that just gets forgotten with time. I believe I’m at a better place than I was those many months ago.
If you’ve ever felt this way, just know you are not alone. Feel free to share your experience in the comments below.