Advice, Relationships

Basics In Dating

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There are some universal things that I feel both parties in a relationship must bring to the table for a relationship to truly flourish and last.

These basics center on the ability to care for yourself. It is crucial you know how to do so before trying to shirk the responsibility onto your partner. It isn’t fair and sets the dynamic between each person at an imbalance.

Granted if you have the funds to outsource these responsibilities to someone else (outside of the relationship) that is great. Otherwise, continue reading below. 

  1. Laundry
    • You should know how to wash, dry, and iron your own clothes. That applies whether you are male or female. Don’t expect all of it to fall on one person. The responsibility could even be alternated between the two people. DON’T be the partner who is helpless to do your own clothes. No one likes feeling like a maid.
  2. Chores
    • Chores like doing the dishes, sweeping and mopping floors, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, dusting, etc. Should fall to both partners equally. Contrary to popular belief, there isn’t the handicap that you are ‘horrible’ at a certain chore. Don’t worry, practice will make you better at it.
      • Women, don’t be fooled by some men who purposefully do a bad job so you get frustrated and do it yourself. It is a game that they play sometimes. Keep your patience and they’ll get the hang of it.
  3. Cooking
    • That doesn’t mean know how to order out or ‘make cereal.’ That means know how to at least make one meal per time of day. A breakfast dish, lunch dish, and dinner dish. You don’t have to be a professional chef but at least know how to cook rice, eggs, and to cut veggies. Not everyone eats meat but if you do, know how to clean/cook at least one type. There are so many resources online, especially with YouTube. There is no excuse to be helpless and inept.
  4. Self Awareness
    • This encompasses the ability to communicate and process your emotions and feelings. Recognize your love language, the method by which you prefer someone expresses their love for you. Having the self-awareness to know when you may need help from a therapist and not being ashamed to admit that. Knowing how to calm yourself when you are angry. Understanding what can better your mood when you are annoyed or downtrodden.
      • It isn’t fair to expect someone else to do these things when you can’t even do it for yourself.

These basics are critical in living harmoniously with someone. It is a mood killer when you feel like you have to be a parent/maid to your partner. No one wants to feel like they are caring for a child before they even have one. Furthermore, it isn’t right to expect your partner to understand how to navigate your emotions, moods, and past traumas if you don’t even know how to yourself.

Altogether, these basics should create a greater balance between both partners and a greater sense of equality. Regardless of gender, there are some things that you should be able to do for yourself in order to prosper as a person. One partner may be better at a certain task than the other but that doesn’t excuse them from doing the task at all. Equality is the recipe for harmony and peace.

 

©JustTalkingShep 2019

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